all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
