We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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