this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My pussy is not your playground.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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