I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
