bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm bleeding and have questions
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
