The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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