If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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