I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
