There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
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