I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
