I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I AM VODKA MAN
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
