Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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