Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I fill condoms, not promises.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Who died my cat blue again?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
