forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
