How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
