Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
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