My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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