if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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