Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
