I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
