Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
