tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
