Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
