If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
