Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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