did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
