but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
