I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
