why didn't you poke me back
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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