Screwed.edu
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
