dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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