i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
