you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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