my mouth tastes like poor choices
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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