he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
