Pregnant stripper...not hot.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
