You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
