I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
