I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
