The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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