I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
