i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
