Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
