I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
