He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
