Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
