my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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