if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
