I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
