The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
