69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
