Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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