WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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