Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
